Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
