lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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