no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
