I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
