I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
