there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
