anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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