We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
