I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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