yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
