do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
