he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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