just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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