There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
