did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
