i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
