Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
