I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We are all done wearing pants today
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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