The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
