they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
