we have officially lost it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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