alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
