Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
