Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
