quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So vagazzling was a success
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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