yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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