I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
