wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
