She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
