How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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