please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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