As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
