So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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