Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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