you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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