I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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