i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
