So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
