hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
