what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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