I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
