apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
