using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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