I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
