My brain says no but my pants say off.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
