i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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