People in love make me want to vomit
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
