remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
