I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
