Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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